NOW THAT THE WORLD KNOWS TRUMP WON, CHINA IS ABOUT TO INVADE TAIWAN, RUSSIA IS ABOUT TO REPLACE THE US AS THE MAIN SOURCE OF EUROPEAN GAS AND OIL, NATO IS EXPANDING PISSING OFF PUTIN, OUR MILITARY IS WOKE WITH RAINBOW BULLETS, THERE IS NO REAL COVID VACCINE, WE ARE ABOUT TO ENTER WWIII, INFLATION IS INSANE, OUR PRESIDENT IS RETARDED, WE PUT A BLACK RACIST PINKO ON SCOTUS, COW FARTS ARE SOON TO BE TAXED, AND THE US DOLLAR IS WORTH SH*T, IT’S TIME TO MERCILESSLY MOCK DEMOCRATS SO THEY STAY HOME AND NEVER LEAVE THEIR BASEMENT. OH YEAH, AND LET’S NOT FORGET TO REMIND THEM TO START WEARING THOSE NEW MONKEYPOX MASKS MADE FROM PLASTIC WRAP. NOT TIGHT ENOUGH? LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU.

AND BTW, IT’S REALLY REALLY CHEAP AND SOME OF IT GOES TO THE RE-ELECT TRUMP 2024 FUND, WELL NOT ALL THAT MUCH BUT SOME.

Now, I’m gonna find out who bought the first edition. Hopefully, that’s you. And when the second edition comes out, and it’s gonna be a doozy, you will be the only one to get it. I mean other people might be able to buy it too, I guess, but I really want you to get it first. Unless you didn’t like it then… I’m gettin’ it together as we speak. Unless it’s past 10 PM. Then I’m probably drunk. Hic. Scuzeme. Burp.

Oh yeah, that phone number I gave to contact me doesn’t work. The stupid phone fell in the toilet and there was other ‘stuff’ in there so I flushed it. Then I had to call a plumber who fished it out, and it still worked OK but it was kinda gross so I threw it in the backyard and can’t find it anymore since the guys who cut the grass probably chewed the damn thing up. It’s OK, nobody wants to talk to me anyway.

WHATEVER YOU DO, DON’T FOLLOW ME ON GETTR OR GAB UNLESS YOU KNOW REVERSE PSYCHOLOGY, THEN DO WHATEVER FEELS RIGHT.