In a rare move of solidarity with the American Nazi Party, Democratic Socialists of America and the “Rent is too damn High Party”, a formal book burning has been scheduled on the footsteps of Capitol Hill by Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi.
Liberal Libertarian Librarians have been putting pressure on the House Speaker to censor the book, however, Head of the Library of Congress, Imma Commie, chimed in pushing for a “real ol’ fashion book burnin’ beginning with “How to Properly Insult A Democrat” and moving on to “How to Legally Identify a Democrat in a Public Restroom.”
Washington DC Fire Marshall, Smokey Buns was called in to explain the Rampant Spontaneous Combustion of Liberal onlookers. Republicans and Conservatives explained that it wasn’t actually spontaneous combustion but the tragic fact that Liberals were unaware of the dangers of fire as well as liberal policy decisions.
Mainstream Media, pushing for Crucifixion of author Axel Thomas on the Front Lawn of the White House, was stunned to see President Donald J. Trump intervening at the last minute sawing off the 40 Ft. Cross at its base. The President was heard singing the praises of his new favorite book, and having saved the author from a Crucifixion at the hands of Main Stream Media, with which he could readily identify, Trump invited Mr. Thomas for lunch in the White House asking the author not to get blood on the new carpet still dripping from his wrists and ankles. The author complied immediately after an uncommonly thorough cavity search.
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