“I cannot and will not recant anything, for to go against conscience is neither right nor safe. Here I stand, I can do no other, so help me God. Amen.” Martin Luther April 18, 1521

● If the ban on plastic straws simply stirs emotions in you that you barely thought possible, vote Democrat, because that’s the most important issue this country faces and a known existential threat.

● If hateful rhetoric stirs you, vote Democrat.

● If Trump sounds like an idiot, vote Democrat, then listen to Jerry Nadler. The winner? Fat Jerry.

● If most other countries aren’t S***holes, vote Democrat, but why is everyone trying to break in?