In a nod to diversity Biden choses Edward Scissorhands as VP

It’s getting down to the wire as Biden gets ready to reveal his Presidential….er….Vice Presidential pick. The main obstacle has been trying to remember who he interviewed last. According to our sources, he has picked Jill Biden as his running mate 183 times over the last several weeks. When explained that she’s not a minority Biden insisted, “Come on Man, how many wives are out there in America? I only got one Man. One. So how can that not be a minority Man?” The staff, after recovering from a crying jag lasting over an hour just told him it was gonna be Jill all right and they’ll talk to her about it.

After a long well deserved nap, Biden was up again forgetting about Jill and trying to pick a VP candidate with whom he can relate. After repeatedly and incoherently mumbling the word “Breck Girl, Breck Girl, the staff was thoroughly flummoxed. Once they figured out what he was trying to say, they looked into it and found his choice for VP candidate was definitely someone with whom he was compatible. He could spend all his time smelling her freshly shampooed hair taking his marching orders from the Deep State as he deeply inhaled and groped her in blissful reverie. An ongoing search for her has thus far been unsuccessful but GT has asked its readers for any information as to her whereabouts. The phone number of 1-800-Sniffme has been set up.

Unfortunately, no calls on the Breck girl thus far, but Biden was not to be discouraged. Though a minority female was promised, Old Joe was trying to think out of the box and finally came up with a most intriguing idea. “Come on man, let’s think way way out my mind……er…. I mean the box. Someone with whom we are all familiar but who can cut great hair, trim my bush, is now an androgynous Black man who will cut all the red tape needed to turn this country into a Sh^thole. It’s Edward Scissorhands of course. With him being unemployed for the last 4 months after we closed down his Hair Salon this could be just the break he’s been looking for. And since shaking hands is no longer allowed amid Covid-19, well, need we say more? Welcome to the Biden team.