How to Properly Insult a Democrat

Lori Loughlin caught cheating on coronavirus test

The SAT cheating scandal seems like it’s in the rearview mirror these days. Most of the accused have pled to misdemeanors, some with 3rd-degree felonies and received minor sentences, many of which have been suspended.

Lori Loughlin and husband Mossimo Giannulli are rolling the dice and will be going to trial sometime this year. On the surface, that’s pretty gutsy. There is little sympathy for these ultra-rich coastal elites getting away with taking college spots away from far more deserving kids.

As we speak, almost 5,000,000 Coronavirus tests are being manufactured and rolling off the assembly lines and out for distribution. Many will be going to drive through facilities which will be a first for this country.

So what have these privileged Hollywood Coastal Elites learned from their brazen scandal? Nothing. As of this morning, Lori Loughlin was caught collecting oral and nasal samples from Cloistered Trappist Monks and handing them in as her own. Shameless. Oh wait, that’s Felicity Huffman’s husband, William H. Macy. Sorry.

Genesius Times

We strive to provide the most up-to-date, accurate fake news on the Internet. Our team of journalists, hacks, and starving writers only want one thing: to make you laugh and/or cry.

TRIED AND FAILED

Listen up GenX/Millennials: What is it about Democrats that make them not understand the term “Tried and Failed”? Take UBI. It’s been tried in America as the “Negative Income Tax Experiment”. Tried and Failed. So vote Democrat if learning what actually works is just too boring. Socialism ? Tried and Failed. Communism? Yep. America next? Only if you don’t remember the term “Tried and Failed ” and more importantly if you continue to vote Democrat.

DROP YOUR WEAPONS

As a gun-control advocate, vote Democrat, and here’s a sure-fire way to git-er-done. First, get a list of all registered Democrats. Next, have them turn in all their firearms. Voila, a 50% reduction overnight. See how easy that was? Next, have all Democrats give up their gas-guzzlers and oil-burners. Voila, no more Global Warming. Sheer Genius.

SCIENCE VS MATH

Since you believe in global warming, vote Democrat, but here’s some really disappointing news. The science, that’s right, science and mathematics of prediction, proclaim that all predictions are unreliable 3-5 years out and thus global warming predictions are by definition unusable, useless, misleading and dangerous. Climate predictions being the equivalent of a monkey throwing darts; no offense to monkeys.

HOLLYWOOD

If you love Hollywood, vote Democrat, but do you know why everything Hollywood touches turns to s**t? No? Sure you do. It’s because movies and TV have become overwhelmingly preachy and that stuff still belongs to religious instruction and parental morality directives. And most of these ‘Hollywood stars’ are just plain creepy.

GLOBAL COOLING

Since global warming causes global cooling which causes global warming which causes global cooling, vote Democrat. With the unprecedented cold headed this way that’s exactly what you are going to hear from the MSM. Now, try and convince yourself that you understand what they’re saying, and even more importantly that they understand what they’re saying. You don’t. They don’t. Oh yeah. Let’s get rid of fossil fuels so you feel what frostbite feels like.

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