How to Properly Insult a Democrat

DEPENDENCY(not the adult diapers)

Listen up GenX/Millennials: Any reparations will prolong your dependency and bankrupt you. How? By the influx of people to every municipality offering reparations. Even ‘Millennials of Color’ will fall victim to this charade. If reparations still excite you, vote Democrat, but be prepared for massive taxation and a far lower standard of living. IF you vote Democrat that is exactly what you deserve.

CLAIRVOYANCE

Have you noticed recently, every single Democrat impeachment witness demonstrates Clairvoyance? Every one of them has the uncanny ability to read Donald Trump’s mind and tell us exactly what he was thinking when dealing with Ukraine. If you too are a mind-reader, vote Democrat and maybe you can let us know what he’ll be thinking at his next inauguration.

‘SHIP WITH 14,600 SHEEP ABOARD CAPSIZES OFF ROMANIA’

Now I know what you’re thinking. Who wants to see so many of God’s sweet creatures perish? Since Democrats love animals way more than Republicans, vote Democrat. But don’t worry, the ship was actually a tour group of Democrats learning first hand how wonderful life was under the Soviet Union. So no loss.

OH MAXINE, REALLY?

How can’t you just love Maxine Waters and not vote Democrat? All the creative dialogue, insightful commentary, well thought-out policy recommendations and sheer positive energy. Such a Bright Light. But now she has metamorphosed from Genius to All-Knowing Judge of Human Intellect. She has now declared Pediatric Neurosurgeon Ben Carson unqualified to be HUD Sec.y because he just isn’t smart enough. What? This is the dumbest member of Congress, and believe me she has competition. This great American has ‘delusions of adequacy’. Someone please start her on some new meds. Please.

ORIGINAL NIGHT STALKER

Women are just plain better than men. Smarter, kinder, gentler and tend to vote Democrat. Okay, but here’s the thing. If you put Democrat’s in charge they will take away the gun your guy has to protect you. Then when someone like the Original Night Stalker, East Area Rapist or Golden State Killer greets you some evening he probably will have a gun and you may regret your voting decision. Ladies, you are less likely to be raped or killed with a Republican President and Congress. Think about that before you vote.

DECREPIT

As a Democrat you seem to gravitate toward leaders who are teetering on pre-historic and who obviously have significant cognitive impairment, so vote Democrat if you are sweet on Ginsberg ( is she still alive?), Mueller, Pelosi, and all the doddering men and ladies (Feinstein). How ’bout this? Let’s rename the party the Decrepocrat Party. Their ideas, solutions, and tactics are outdated, anachronistic,and absurd . The younger members? Dumb, miseducated and misguided. Let’s face it, we need to eliminate the Dumbocrat Party and replace it with something better. Way better.

POPEYES

Since Michael Bloomberg is now running as a Democrat, vote for him, but he is the next Popeyes Chicken Sandwich. He will promise you all the chicken sandwiches you can eat because he has enough money to buy everyone as many as they want. Everyone will go to Popeyes and they’ll be out-of-em. You will be angry and disappointed. Promises made, none kept because no Democrat can deliver on any of their promises. Bloomberg is your Popeyes Chicken Sandwich without the sauce.

PEA BRAINS

As a climate scientist, superforecaster, and pea brain vote Democrat, but are you really going to tell Earth’s future? There’s a lot of chaos in the Universe and chaos is going to make all climatic predictions impossible. The Universe (chaos) is 1,900,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 times the size of Earth and that’s only the ‘Observable Universe’. Plus, the Universe is expanding at 152,000 MPH. I don’t care how many crystal balls you have, the Earth’s future is totally unknowable. Period.

FOLLOW THE SHINY OBJECT

Do you know what this Impeachment BS is really all about? Since you don’t, vote Democrat, but let me explain. The Democrats have broken so many laws, created chaos, and extruded countless bald-faced lies, that anything they do between now and Nov. 2020 is purely to distract you from all their malfeasance and evil transgressions. That explains everything. Everything. It reminds me of an old saying, “I’m rubber, you’re glue, everything bounces off me and sticks to you”. So you just voted for a rubber donkey. DJT is about to tar and feather that donkey. Soon.

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