Colon Crapernick is a god-like figure. On that we can all agree so vote Democrat to show you much you idolize him. And if you really wish to memorialize him in a meaningful way, I suggest every Democrat in the country grow their hair out in a Mega-Afro. That would look awesome! That way Conservatives can more easily know who to avoid.
As a gun-control advocate, vote Democrat, and here’s a sure-fire way to git-er-done. First, get a list of all registered Democrats. Next, have them turn in all their firearms. Voila, a 50% reduction overnight. See how easy that was? Next, have all Democrats give up their gas-guzzlers and oil-burners. Voila, no more Global Warming. Sheer Genius.
Since you believe in global warming, vote Democrat, but here’s some really disappointing news. The science, that’s right, science and mathematics of prediction, proclaim that all predictions are unreliable 3-5 years out and thus global warming predictions are by definition unusable, useless, misleading and dangerous. Climate predictions being the equivalent of a monkey throwing darts; no offense to monkeys.
If you love cartoons, vote Democrat. No, not South Park, or Peppa Pig. It’s the Impeachment Cartoon Show. Watch as Pencil Neck and his cartoon friends try having fun at your expense, fiddling as our Country burns. Fun for the entire family. Don’t forget to shop for your PencilNeck Dolls this Christmas, available in Congenital Liar, Bowling Ball Head and Retard models.
Listen up GenX/Millennials: If you hate all those corny TV series from the ’50’s and 60’s, vote Democrat. You hate them because the country was better then. No. Way better. Why? Because the media, schools, and Gov.t were not yet infiltrated by Democrats. Your generation(s) have been VICTIMIZED by these contemptuous traitors. Wake up and smell the Liberalism.
If you love Hollywood, vote Democrat, but do you know why everything Hollywood touches turns to s**t? No? Sure you do. It’s because movies and TV have become overwhelmingly preachy and that stuff still belongs to religious instruction and parental morality directives. And most of these ‘Hollywood stars’ are just plain creepy.
If the Deep State makes you giddy, vote Democrat, but remember that DJT will kill them off during his second term, install his own and should a Democrat ever win the WH, will be taken out faster than a rainbow shirt at a LGBT festival.
If you are excited as I am about Megan Rapinoe accepting the Glamour “Woman of the Year” award, vote Democrat, but just remember she is an ungrateful self-centered egotistical purple-haired lesbian b**ch who wouldn’t go to the White House after having the honor of representing her country.
If you repeat “Quid Pro Quo” continuously, add “Whistleblower”, “Impeachment”, “Bribery”, “Obstruction”, and “Extortion”, you need not watch the news for at least 6 months. So vote Democrat if you don’t mind these limitations and have a Happy New Year mumbling to yourself.
Since you believe Trump is a moron, vote Democrat, but you also believe he is running a Shadow Gov’t., therefore you must admit he has the intellect, strategy, audacity, and relentless unmitigated genius to pull that off. So who’s the moron now?