If only he had Tonto with him. One sideways glance from that famous Injun and Costco would have backed down, given him a $100 gift card and provided his kemosabe with shaving products for a year.
But no, Tonto was nowhere to be found. Apparently, he was out protesting gatherings of white school kids by beating a drum continuously as they smiled and showed respect. I wonder where he learned to do that?
Now this is Dr. Francis Sellers Collins, the Director of the National Institute of Health. He goes to Costco too. Do you see anything wrong with this picture? We’ll wait…………need more time?……..Got it?. Lest you forget, he’s the friggin’ Director of the NIH and has no clue how to wear a face mask. And we wonder why the term ‘expert’ has become utterly meaningless? Did I mention he’s the NIH director?
So what is to become of the Lone Ranger? Will he acquiesce? Of course not, he’s the Lone Ranger fergodsakes. He did leave a Silver Bullet with the receipt checker, mounted his steed now a Hi-yo-Silverado and made his way back to his Ranch. Since he is now in reruns on cable, to remain on air he must now be gay, live with a man who is funny and charming, and willing to sew him a black mask he can show his gay friends. Of course their masks are fabulous. But remember, he’s the Lone Ranger and can wear a black mask. They’re not! Hi-yo-Silver….awayyyyyyyyyyy.